JUNE HOROSCOPES

Bibliomancy is when you predict the future through a randomly chosen passage in a book. It’s especially useful at 3am when you remember that you still haven’t written any of next month’s horoscopes. But they really are telling, if you read WAY too much into them.
Good luck!

Aries, March 21 — April 19
“I really didn’t want Dee Dee doing coke because of Connie, because I figured that was just her way of getting back into his life.”
Please Kill Me (the uncensored oral history of punk) , pg. 237

Taurus, April 20 — May 20
“Sometimes I can think of very crumby stuff I wouldn’t mind doing if the opportunity came up.”
The Catcher in the Rye, pg. 81

Gemini, May 21 — June 20
“tongues.”
You Get So Alone at Times it Just Makes Sense, pg. 144

Cancer, June 21 — July 22
“Actually, my personal life has undergone a metamorphosis: I am currently connected in a most vital manner with the food merchandising industry, and therefore I doubt quite seriously whether I shall have much time in the future to correspond with you.”
A Confederacy of Dunces, pg. 183

Leo, July 23 — August 22
“His response was to drink heavily and with great Irish tolerance, but there was no peace in his mind no matter how much he put down.”
You Were Never Really Here, pg. 24

Virgo, August 23 — September 22
“Belinda, just relax’, said Peter, ‘We can discuss this all at the office next week in Amsterdam when you come to visit me.’”
My Dad Wrote a Porno, pg. 141

Libra, September 23 — October 21
Some of the rights users are guaranteed are simply the inverse of these responsibilities; for example, users have a right to be clearly and intelligibly informed when their data is being collected.
New York Magazine (May 14–27, 2018), pg. 24

Scorpio, October 22 — November 21
“In which case that’s a full-time occupation that don’t pay well, orr you just say, “No, it’s got to stop, it’s too energy-draining.””
Anger is an Energy, pg. 317

Sagittarius, November 22 — December 21
“The dog knelt at the base of a tree, doubling over to lick its blistering anus.”
Naked, pg. 164

Capricorn, December 22 — January 19
“FLORA: Don’t come in.”
Harold Pinter: Complete Works, pg. 193

Aquarius, January 20 — February 18
“It wasn’t as bad as a hug from Mike or something, but all gestures of friendship, human communication, or contact leave me cold.”
Chelsea Horror Hotel, pg. 62

Pisces, February 19 — March 20
“Certainly, if all things are good, it is in El Dorado and not in the rest of the world.”
Candide, pg. 51

If you liked your horoscope this month, why not LOVE it?

>> Follow me on Twitter for some non-astrological sadness.
>> Or Instagram, I guess?
>> Check out my postcard blog, Glad You’re Not Here!
>> Find out where I am and send me money! J/K weirdos.

Morgan S is a writer that may or may not know the future. She has always lived in Brooklyn and definitely has a complex about it. She likes the idea of cats, but doesn’t have any.